Getting completely and 100% real for a minute. You’re all gonna know this now, and I am sorry.
As outlined in one of my last posts, I lost two friends within the last year. Finding out people I know/am connected to have cancer.
Me? I’ve had the worst fucking year of my life. I had three suicide attempts. I got sent to a psych ward for a few days cause my therapy clinic was concerned I would try again. Constant medication changing. My life is a constant struggle to get back on my feet.
I am thankful EVERY FUCKING DAY and I am vocal about it. Even today. I hate holidays. They are usually very stressful and too much fighting for my family, every year. They infuriate me so much it hurts.
But they are still my support system. Same as my friends. And so I’m gonna try and make them happy even though holidays make me physically uncomfortable. But that is just me.
Almost dying by my own hand has put things into perspective. Same for losing people I love or hearing that they are sick. While yes, the background of this holiday is disturbing and true (ditto for Columbus Day). I understand that. If you wish not to partake, its your descision. That’s fine. If you do, that’s fine too.
All I ask is that you just ENJOY life. If you don’t like today (which I don’t, though I love Tofurkey), I understand. At the very least, enjoy your day off from work and appreciate that you ARE ALIVE. Be glad you don’t live a life where you wake up daily and worry your family will go into poverty any minute, or that despite my grumblings about things, my biggest struggle is to get out of bed and make sure I don’t try suicide again. Make sure my mental state is okay enough to go on living.
I’m not asking anyone to change their views, or say I have worse problems than the people who have nothing. I’m not trying to fight or start one. I just ask that you take time to reflect good things, even small ones. Not just today, but every day. Enjoy today if you choose to. If not, try and at least find something positive to do in its place, something you enjoy doing.
We only get one life. Live it how you love. I’m trying to do just that. “In some future I may faulter… but not today”.
Sorry if this was too long for some. Just live.
Getting completely and 100% real for a minute. You’re all gonna know this now, and I am sorry.
As outlined in one of my last posts, I lost two friends within the last year. Finding out people I know/am connected to have cancer.
Me? I’ve had the worst fucking year of my life. I had three suicide attempts. I got sent to a psych ward for a few days cause my therapy clinic was concerned I would try again. Constant medication changing. My life is a constant struggle to get back on my feet.
I am thankful EVERY FUCKING DAY and I am vocal about it. Even today. I hate holidays. They are usually very stressful and too much fighting for my family, every year. They infuriate me so much it hurts.
But they are still my support system. Same as my friends. And so I’m gonna try and make them happy even though holidays make me physically uncomfortable. But that is just me.
Almost dying by my own hand has put things into perspective. Same for losing people I love or hearing that they are sick. While yes, the background of this holiday is disturbing and true (ditto for Columbus Day). I understand that. If you wish not to partake, its your descision. That’s fine. If you do, that’s fine too.
All I ask is that you just ENJOY life. If you don’t like today (which I don’t, though I love Tofurkey), I understand. At the very least, enjoy your day off from work and appreciate that you ARE ALIVE. Be glad you don’t live a life where you wake up daily and worry your family will go into poverty any minute, or that despite my grumblings about things, my biggest struggle is to get out of bed and make sure I don’t try suicide again. Make sure my mental state is okay enough to go on living.
I’m not asking anyone to change their views, or say I have worse problems than the people who have nothing. I’m not trying to fight or start one. I just ask that you take time to reflect good things, even small ones. Not just today, but every day. Enjoy today if you choose to. If not, try and at least find something positive to do in its place, something you enjoy doing.
We only get one life. Live it how you love. I’m trying to do just that. “In some future I may faulter… but not today”.
Sorry if this was too long for some. Just live.
Posted 3 months ago 23 notes
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justbeahumanaboutit reblogged this from mindovermatterzine and added:
Click above to read blog. Resonates closely. With that being said: Happy Thanksgiving. mindovermatterzine:
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